Separation or divorce is often a difficult period for both the separating couple and their children.

This can be even more challenging when a child has special educational needs or disabilities (SEND), as they may struggle to cope with change. Families with SEND children may require specialist support, tailored childcare arrangements and unique financial settlements that take into account their child’s individual needs.  

Does my child have SEND?

A child may have SEND if they have a condition, impairment or disability which affects their ability to learn or participate meaningfully in certain aspects of daily life. Examples include: dyslexia, autism, ADHD, physical disability or cognitive impairments.

If your child has SEND, or you suspect they might, you should seek the advice of professionals such as your child’s GP, social worker or school SENCO who can signpost you to help and support. This may include securing a formal diagnosis, arranging emotional support, or obtaining an Educational, Health and Care Plan (ECHP) to ensure your child’s educational needs are being met in school.

How will separation affect my SEND child?

New routines

All children need stability, but this is particularly important for SEND children, who generally thrive on predictability and calm environments.

Separation can disrupt the daily routines which SEND children heavily rely on to feel secure and regulate themselves. While shared care arrangements work well for many children, for some SEND children, the movement between two households can be highly disorienting or physically demanding.

Confusing emotions

The breakdown of the family unit can lead to children feeling upset, unsafe and unsettled. For children with SEND, these feelings coupled with difficulty to understand or adjust to change, can cause frustration and anger. This may present as anxiety, meltdowns or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Practical arrangements

Separation means legal and medical decisions can become harder to coordinate, and financial strain often increases. Parental mental health may also be affected during separation, which may indirectly impact upon the child.

What can I do?

Your SEND child may require specialist support in school, counselling or medical intervention. It is important to maintain as much regularity and routine as possible. This could include keeping your child at the same school, continuing their clubs and activities, and ensuring they maintain relationships with friends, family and their wider support network.

Parents with SEND children should also take the time to discuss and agree long-term plans for the child - not only childcare but also medical care and therapeutic plans. It is important for both parents to remain on the same team for the child and continue to make key decisions together. If one parent begins to undermine or criticise the other parent, this can cause additional distress for SEND children.  

My ex and I can’t agree. Do I need a solicitor?

Where significant changes are required, these should be properly considered between the parents and, where appropriate, the wider family and support network. In times of divorce and separation, legal professionals can often assist too.  

In terms of childcare, we can help parents reach bespoke childcare agreements that reflect their family’s individual circumstances, without the intervention of the court. If a dispute cannot be resolved the family court can make various types of orders, including:

• Child Arrangements Orders: these determine where the child lives and who they spend time with
• Prohibited Steps Orders: these prevent a person from doing something which the court considers not in the child’s best interests
• Specific Issue Orders: these address specific issues such as which school the child should attend, what treatment they should receive, or whether they should undergo a particular medical procedure

Additionally, standard financial settlements may need to be adjusted to account for your child’s specific needs. This may include the child’s primary carer receiving an enhanced share to cover home adaptions, or to purchase a vehicle to transport the child, and in some cases to account for loss of work due to caring responsibilities.

Many SEND children require additional equipment or support, for example wheelchairs, noise cancelling headphones, or behavioural therapy. These extra costs are often not accounted for under usual Child Maintenance obligations, and a separate application to court under a different legal framework may be required.  

How Switalskis can help  

Obtaining professional input from an early stage can help to reduce conflict further down the line. Where a dispute does arise, having a legal representative on your side can help you achieve the right outcome for you and your SEND child.  

Please call Switalskis for a free, fully confidential 30-minute telephone consultation with one of our dedicated family law team members.