When a relationship breaks down, the thought of going to court to protect your interests can be overwhelming. The fear that matters will be contentious and that court proceedings will be the only option may even affect your decision to pursue a divorce or the dissolution of a civil partnership . However, it's important to understand that going to court is not the only way to resolve matters regarding finances, child arrangements or practical decisions for your separation.

The family mediation process plays a key role in dealing with the most contentious issues in a non-confrontational way, and sometimes means that court hearings are no longer necessary. Family mediation offers a constructive and cooperative path for separating couples and families. It gives you more control over the outcome and helps you and your ex-partner to make decisions about your future in a calm and supportive setting. Whether the parties agree on what they want from a divorce, or expect to encounter difficult disputes during the process, mediation sessions can be a practical step to consider before escalating the matter to a court setting.

In fact, the court requires that families pursue mediation as a way to resolve issues (or narrow the issues in dispute) unless specific exceptions apply. However, while this is a much more informal process than court proceedings, it is important to have legal representation during mediation sessions to protect your rights and advocate for the best possible outcome. Here, the experienced family law solicitors at Switalskis explain what family mediation is, how the process works, and how it can help you and your family to find the clearest pathway through a complex situation.

How does family mediation work?

Family mediation is a process where you and your ex-partner meet with a neutral, professionally trained person called a mediator. Their job is to talk through the issues and guide you and your ex-partner towards an agreement that works for both of you.

It provides a safe space for you to discuss sensitive topics related to your separation or divorce, such as:

• Arrangements for your children
• Financial settlements, including property, savings, and pensions
• Ongoing child or spousal maintenance payments

The main goal of family mediation is to improve communication and reduce conflict. By working together, you and your ex-partner can make decisions that are tailored to your family's unique circumstances, rather than having a judge impose a decision on you. This is often a quicker, cheaper and less stressful alternative to going to court.

This process is voluntary and completely confidential. However, while this means that no one can be forced to attend, the family court will expect that anyone wishing to begin court proceedings has attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), which acts as an introductory meeting and evaluation before the mediation process begins.

How does the family mediation process work?

The mediation process is structured to give you the best chance of reaching an agreement. It's a flexible process that can be adapted to your family's needs. Here are the typical stages involved.

1. The Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting

Before you can apply to the family court for most orders, you need to consider mediation first. This starts with a MIAM, which is a confidential, one-to-one initial meeting with an accredited mediator. During this assessment meeting, the mediator will:

• Explain what family mediation is and how the process works
• Discuss other non-court dispute resolution options
• Assess whether your case is suitable for mediation
• Check if you’re eligible for legal aid to cover the costs
• Give you a chance to talk about your situation and what you hope to achieve

The MIAM is simply an information-gathering session. It isn't the start of mediation itself. After this first meeting, if you and the mediator agree that mediation is a suitable path, the mediator will invite your ex-partner to attend their own separate MIAM.

2. Joint mediation sessions

If you both agree to proceed after your individual MIAMs, you’ll make your first appointment for a joint mediation session. These are sessions where you and your ex-partner will sit down with the mediator to discuss the issues that remain in dispute. This can be in the same room, or you can opt for shuttle mediation where you’re in different rooms.

For financial disputes, you'll need to provide full disclosure of your assets, such as bank statements, property valuations, and pension details before the process begins.

During the mediation sessions, the mediator will:

• Set ground rules to keep discussions respectful and productive.
• Identify an agenda of topics to discuss, whether that means child arrangements, finances or both.
• Help the ex-partners to develop potential solutions and explore different possibilities. They facilitate conversation and make sure that each person has a chance to speak and be heard.
• Aim to find common ground and reach an agreement on all the issues. Most families need between two and three mediation sessions to do this, though there is no standard for how much mediation will be needed and complex cases often need more.

Whether you and your ex-partner are in the same space or in different rooms, mediation represents a neutral place where issues can be resolved informally.

3. The outcome

If you successfully reach an agreement, the mediator will draft a summary document that covers the issues in dispute. This document isn't legally binding on its own, and you'll need to get legal advice and ask a solicitor to draft a consent order to be approved by a court to make your arrangements legally sound.

While the court needs to approve the agreement, you will still avoid court proceedings using this approach, as the consent order is simply submitted to the family court for a judge's approval. Once the judge approves it and seals the order, your agreement becomes legally binding. This means that if either you or your ex-partner fail to stick to the terms, the other can take action through the court to enforce them. Without a legally binding consent order, your agreement is essentially based on trust alone.

If you can't reach an agreement, or if the mediator decides that mediation is no longer productive, the process will end. The mediator can then provide you with the necessary court form to show you've attempted mediation, allowing you to proceed with a court application if you choose to. Even in these cases, you can save on legal costs during the court process by minimising the areas that remain in dispute through mediation.

Are there different types of family mediation?

The family mediation process can be tailored to suit your family’s needs. Here are a few common approaches.

Child-inclusive mediation

In some cases, it's appropriate to involve your children in the process. Child-inclusive mediation involves a specially trained family mediator who meets with your child or children separately and asks for their views on the matters in dispute.

This is designed to give young people a chance to have their voices heard in a confidential and safe space, especially where they are old enough to express their wishes. They can talk about how they feel and what they want to happen without the pressure of taking sides. The mediator will only feed back to you and the other parent what the child agrees for them to share. This can help parents make decisions based on a better understanding of their children's feelings and make sure the final child arrangements truly reflect their best interests.

Shuttle mediation

Shuttle mediation is an option for couples who find it too difficult or distressing to be in the same room together. This can be due to high conflict, a history of domestic abuse or any other reason.

In shuttle mediation, you and your ex-partner are in separate rooms (or separate spaces online), and the mediator "shuttles" between you. They will pass messages, proposals and information back and forth, to help you to negotiate without any direct contact. This allows both you and your ex-partner to feel safe and focus on the issues without the emotional stress of a face-to-face confrontation. It allows the mediation process to move forward even when communication between partners has completely broken down.

Non-court dispute resolution

Family mediation is just one form of non-court dispute resolution. Other options exist, such as collaborative law (where you and your solicitors work together in four-way meetings) and arbitration (where a neutral third party makes a legally binding decision for you). The team at Switalskis can discuss your circumstances from the moment you decide to pursue a divorce and advise you of which process will be the most suitable for your needs.

How much does mediation cost?

One of the biggest benefits of family mediation is that it's usually much cheaper than going to court. The exact costs can vary depending on the mediator's hourly rate and how many mediation sessions you need. Typically, you and your ex-partner will split the mediator's fees equally.

Help with costs is available in certain circumstances, and can make family mediation the most cost-effective approach to a divorce or the dissolution of a civil partnership. For those on low income or who meet certain financial eligibility criteria, legal aid is available to cover solicitors fees and the costs for family mediation. If you've experienced domestic abuse, legal aid is easier to secure as the eligibility criteria are different.

An accredited mediator can assess you for legal aid during your initial MIAM. If you qualify for legal aid, it can cover the full cost of your mediation sessions. In some cases, if you qualify for legal aid, it will also cover the cost of the MIAM and the first mediation session for your ex-partner, even if they don't qualify for legal aid themselves.

The government also runs a family mediation voucher scheme to encourage families to use mediation to resolve issues involving children. You don't need to be eligible for legal aid to apply for the voucher scheme. Your mediator will assess your eligibility during the MIAM and apply for the voucher on your behalf if your case involves making child arrangements and you meet the criteria.

Find out how Switalskis can help you

Family separation is difficult, but resolving the practical issues doesn't have to be a battle. Family mediation offers a powerful and effective way to reach an agreement, save money, and protect your children from conflict. It puts you in control, and with the support of an experienced solicitor and a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council, you can pursue the best possible outcome for your family.

Switalskis specialises in mediation and other forms of non-court dispute resolution during a divorce, separation or dissolution. Our team of expert family lawyers can provide clear guidance on the mediation process and ensure any agreement you reach is fair and legally binding by representing and protecting your interests throughout the process.

Contact us today to find out how we can support you with empathy and expertise at every step. Call Switalskis on 0800 1380 458 or get in touch via the form on our website.