What is parental alienation?

Parental alienation is the process of a child becoming physically and/or emotionally separated from a parent, often caused by the other parent. This may be entirely unconscious or may be intentional and malicious. In these cases, this is a form of emotional abuse towards the child. 

The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (‘CAFCASS’) uses the term ‘alienating behaviour’ to describe an ongoing pattern of negative attitudes, language or conduct by one parent that has the potential to undermine or even destroy a child’s relationship with the other parent.

What causes parental alienation?

Alienation often happens after parents have separated , particularly where there are high levels of conflict or animosity. When children are involved, they can be caught in the cross-fire between adults, even unintentionally.

Early warning signs of attempted parental alienation by your ex-partner may include:

• Not following through with agreed contact arrangements
• Cancelling contact/family time at last minute without good reason
• Speaking negatively about you in front of the child or making false allegations
• Withholding information about your child’s health, welfare or education
• Not allowing your child to spend time with your extended family 
• Defying court orders

If your ex-partner is displaying these behaviours, your child may be exposed to a risk of alienation.

Effects of parental alienation

If a child is exposed to alienating behaviours, they may begin to adopt the views or emotions of one parent and start repeating or believing negative things about the other parent. Children may start to show resistance towards spending time with the other parent, in spite of a previously positive relationship.

Importantly, alienation does not always require deliberate manipulation. Children are highly perceptive. They often pick up on tension and may feel pressure, whether spoken or unspoken, to take sides. Children often subconsciously align themselves with one parent/carer out of loyalty, empathy or self-preservation.

CAFCASS identifies that alienating behaviours damage a child’s relationship with someone important to them, which in turn impacts upon the child’s sense of self-worth and self-identity. This can have long-lasting detrimental effects on some children.

Have I experienced parental alienation?

It is important to differentiate between alienating behaviour and legitimate safeguarding concerns.

Parents/carers with genuine welfare concerns are entitled to take protective action. This may include exercise their Parental Responsibility to restrict contact where there are real risks to a child’s safety or wellbeing.

Examples of justifiable concerns may include:

• Abuse towards a parent/child – whether physical, sexual or emotional
• Substance misuse
• Alcohol misuse while caring for the child
• Neglect
• Criminal or dangerous behaviour

Each case must be assessed on its own facts. The key distinction lies in whether or not the actions are motivated by the child’s welfare or conflict between adults.

What can I do about this?

If you believe your child may be at risk of alienation, it is important to seek legal advice early on. Addressing concerns promptly can prevent the situation from deteriorating.

Unfortunately by the time many cases reach the Court arena, the child has already been manipulated or alienated to such an extent they have become entrenched in their views. When a child forms strong and genuinely-held opinions about one parent, this can be difficult to reverse.

If parental alienation is identified by professionals and found to have taken place by the Court, the remedial measures can be drastic, particularly where the alienation was done maliciously and has harmed the child. This can include a change of residence of the child, making the non-resident parent the resident parent.

At Switalskis, we offer a free half hour telephone appointment to listen to your concerns and provide initial free and confidential advice.  Please call us on 0800 138 0458 and ask to speak to a member of our Family Law team for more information.